Qui Vivra Verra
by queerbending
Summary: Adam has a routine he doesn't like to deviate from. Lindsay sets him up on a blind date that might just end up being worth ruining his regimen.


Adam had a routine and very rarely deviated from it. Having plans and knowing what to expect from the week helped him manage his anxiety. It was a Tuesday night when Lindsay stepped into the lab, a smirk on her lips as she approached with a scheme in mind. A knot began to twist in his stomach, as if unsure what her intentions were, as if afraid she'd say something to throw him off his groove.

He let out a breath through a clenched jaw, subconsciously placing his hands palms-down on the table and leaning his weight into it. Grounding himself as best he could to the moment, unaware of the _tap-tap-tap_ of his left pointer finger against the counter. "I—I don't think I like that look you've got there," he teased, managing a small smile and a dry chuckle. "What's going on?"

Lindsay's grin grew to show her teeth and while the smile was genuine, it didn't make Adam any less nervous. She didn't stop until she reached the table and leaned opposite Adam, hands clasped together and leaning against the counter with her elbows. "I need you to do me a favor." He arched an eyebrow in curiosity, staying silent to let her finish. "You see, I have this _friend_ , who's _really cute_ and I was thinking it would just be _great_ if you two had dinner together."

It caught Adam off guard. Of all the possibilities running through his mind, Lindsay trying to set him up on a date wasn't even near the top of the list. Sure, it was on there. At the bottom after _'I need you to gut an alligator'_. Hopefully no alligators would be involved later. "Um—you—like, a date?"

Her laugh only aided in lighting her face up more and he could tell she was amused. The knot in his stomach grew. "Yeah, a date." Silence lingered as Adam looked away, obviously stuck thinking about it. He wasn't one to change things up and agreeing to go out with someone he didn't know seemed pretty risky. Of course, this was _Lindsay_ and she wouldn't try to set him up without knowing his date pretty well. "Oh come on, Adam! It's too late to say no, Danny and I already made you reservations. Please?"

Blinking rapidly, her statement only added to his silence. The fact that there were already reservations only made him more nervous. But then again, if even _Danny_ thought it was a good idea, who was he to say no? "Yeah, o—okay. I... guess I can..." A small sigh fell from his lips. "I can go. How bad can it be, right?"

If it was even _possible_ for Lindsay to look more excited, she did. As far as Adam was concerned, he only looked more nervous and unsure of himself. "That's awesome! I'll text you the details. Don't worry, it'll be great. You're in good hands, so you can relax."

But he didn't. Their date had been set up for Saturday, presumably to try and avoid both of their work schedules, but Adam spent the whole week on edge. What was he supposed to wear? What would he _say_? What had the Messers told his mystery date about him? Every day that passed left him feeling more like he needed to back out, but he found himself staring at his phone Saturday afternoon, unable to cancel.

He muttered to himself about how bad this was going to be and he'd never agree to a blind date again. _Seizing the day_ had never been his forte and there was no point in changing so far into his life. He'd gotten comfortable with who he became, comfortable living to work. The lab was where he belonged and being in a relationship would only cut into the time he had to help on cases.

Then again, maybe his date would understand. Maybe their job was just as demanding as his own. Surely Lindsay wouldn't try to match him with someone who couldn't be okay with the dedication he had to his work. Those kinds of relationships never worked, and his barely functioned to begin with. He'd never been in a relationship that lasted longer than seven months.

Their reservations were made at _Mar's_ , a restaurant that was quite nice and felt too _upscale_ for him to be there. The tie he wore had been left in his closet, untouched, since his interview with the lab and his white dress shirt (the only one that was still nice and hadn't been worn to work and contaminated by evidence spills) felt slightly too small, though that easily could have been the anxiety suffocating him.

Swallowing hard, he stepped up to the podium and looked the hostess in the eye as best he could. "Hi, um, I've got... reservations. Made under — Messer. Party of — of two." She smiled at him and nodded, grabbing a menu from the basket and guiding him to his table. Tapping his fingers against his side, Adam followed, cursing himself for not wearing more deodorant. Maybe the sweat wouldn't seep through his shirt if he got lucky.

She sat him in a table in the corner — probably a request from Danny. Their table had a good view of the rest of the space and was out of the way enough that he would be able to focus on his date without all the _everything_ getting to him from everywhere else. His date wasn't there yet, so he just sat and tapped his foot, looking around anxiously.

After the first five minutes of sitting there alone, he started to feel ridiculous. Was it stupid to wait for a mystery date in a restaurant he could barely afford, _if_ he could even afford it to begin with? Ten minutes in and he just felt disappointed. It would make sense for him to be stood up. It took a text from Lindsay saying _'Friend got held up at work. Will be there in five! Don't leave.'_ to get him to stay. Maybe he had hope this would work after all.

Sure enough, five minutes later the hostess was on her way back with someone behind her. It took until they arrived at the table for Adam to be able to make out who it was, with all the people that had been between him and the door. As soon as it registered, he turned red and shot up from his chair, one hand gripping the back of his chair and the other laying gently on the table. "It's... you're... Did Lindsay—? Oh god..."

But Don laughed, a little red himself. His plan had been to change into a suit that he _hadn't_ just worn to work, but he'd gotten called to a crime scene unexpectedly and there he was looking a little beat up, gun and badge still attached to his belt. "Nice to see you too." The hostess walked away and Don motioned for Adam to sit down as he took the opposite seat. "And, uh, to answer your question — _no_. Lindsay didn't tell me you were my date. Danny gave me a few hints, though."

Grinning uncertainly, Adam nodded and sat back down, fiddling with the cover of the menu. It seemed silly that he'd been sitting there for twenty minutes and hadn't opened it yet, but had Don not shown up, he would have just left instead of eating, so there wouldn't have been a point. "So... so you're... _okay_ with — with me being here? I mean, I—I didn't know you were... you know, gay, or... whatever."

The embarrassment nearly overtook Adam, face flushed as he decided he hated himself. He knew how stupid he must sound and he doubted 'first date nerves' would cover it because Don _knew_ him. Don _knew_ that he was like this all the time. Adam hadn't decided yet whether that was a good or bad thing.

Don opened his menu, studying it for a moment before he looked over it at Adam, the smallest of smirks detectable on his lips. "Kinda thought it'd be weird at first, but... I don't know. Danny seemed so sure, I figured it's worth a shot. Carpe diem." Butterflies. All Adam could see was the set of eyes across from him. Blue as could be. He was drawn to them. "I didn't know _you_ were gay. Or _whatever_." He was teasing now, and his grin made Adam suddenly glad he sat down with the way his legs felt like jelly.

"—But aren't you, like, super Catholic?" he blurted out, only to lower his head into his hands. He should have stayed home. But Don set his menu down and tapped Adam's arm to get him to drop it. Their eyes met and in that moment Adam understood why Lindsay would try and set this up. There was a spark that he couldn't deny, but it was unexpected and just another thing he wasn't used to doing: dating a coworker.

Sure, Don was a detective and Adam was in the crime lab, but their jobs overlapped. As far as Adam was concerned, for _years_ he and Don had worked together. But then that meant Don would understand if he was busy with work. It meant they'd get to see each other sometimes even if they both got busy. But then Adam wasn't the first coworker _Don_ had dated and he didn't want to make the man reminisce about Angell. He didn't want Don to spiral again if something happened.

"I'm Catholic, but not _that_ Catholic." His father was, but then that didn't matter when it came to things like this. Sam wouldn't care if he dated another guy, so when it came down to it this was just a relationship like any other. "Now come on. Pick up your menu and find something you like. I haven't eaten since lunch and I'm _starving_."

Despite being hesitant, Adam did as instructed and opened his menu only to feel a punch in his gut. "Oh _wow_ , that's expensive." There didn't seem to be anything under ten dollars and items under fourteen were few and far between. Next time, he'd need to make sure Lindsay set him up on a date somewhere a lot cheaper. "Holy shit, everything's like a hundred dollars here." It was an obvious overstatement, but that sure was how he felt.

"Don't worry about it," Don said without so much as a beat. "I'll pay tonight. Call it an apology for being so late." Adam just blinked, nodding after a moment, and the night went on. They got their food, which was amazing. He'd stolen a couple bites from Don's plate, and vice versa, and they talked. Just talked. For nearly two hours until they were finally kicked out.

They were having such a good time that Don walked Adam back to his apartment, both men with their hands in their pockets as if they were still somehow afraid to touch each other. Afraid that holding hands would make it weird or official or something they weren't ready for. They stood outside Adam's door for six-and-a-half minutes before they finally said goodbye.

It ended with an _'I had a great time tonight'_ and a kiss placed against Don's cheek only for Adam to open his door and close it before Don had a chance to stick his foot inside and say anything else. And for Don, getting to his own apartment seemed to take a lot longer than it should have. Both men ignored the Messers' texts asking how the date went, instead opting to spend the rest of their weekends thinking about it all.

It was Wednesday before Adam saw Don again. They had exchanged a total of five texts since the date. A quick hey from each man followed by _'I'm doing good'_ s and then just a lousy _'yeah. good luck today'_ from Adam to Don, who hadn't been in the crime lab to talk to anyone but Mac until a case from Central Park brought him to the lab himself. Danny had been working on the evidence with Adam, but politely excused himself to go find his wife once Don walked in.

The excuse was pathetic, as Adam and Don could both see the Messers 'stealthily' looking through the glass to see how things were going with the two men. Adam was so nervous he could barely maintain eye contact. Instead, he moved to the microscope and studied what appeared to be _horse_ hair. The more he focused on the evidence, the less he had to focus on Don, or even on Danny and Lindsay. The less he felt pressured into talking about the date.

Not to imply it had been _bad_ — because it hadn't — but he was worried he'd overstepped. Or that Don had had the time to change his mind about it being good. Or that Don wanted Adam to pay his half of the dinner bill after all. The knot in his stomach returned along with a deep frown and his eyebrows knitted together as best they could.

The silence was broken with a stern " _Adam_ " that he knew was Don asking him to look up. Reluctantly, he obeyed. The fear must have been obvious in his eyes because Don dropped the _detective_ act and stepped forward with a softer expression on his face. "Adam," he repeated, voice quiet enough that Adam wasn't sure there spies could even hear. "Are you alright? Talk to me for a minute, would ya?"

Adam sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, unsure of what to say. Four days had passed since their date and he wasn't sure at all what was expected of him. "I'm—I'm fine, Don, really, I just..." Two beats. "I thought maybe... Maybe you didn't really want to hear from me, is all." And he knew this wasn't a work conversation, but Don had shown up there and Lindsay and Danny were practically pushing them into it.

Don scoffed, suddenly grinning that that was the cutest thing he'd heard all day. He stepped closer to get within arm's reach of the other man. "Why wouldn't I want to hear from you? I thought we had fun the other night." Which wasn't evident given how little the two had talked since, but they _had_ both come back on Monday with a haul of cases to check out.

"W—well, _yeah_ , it was fun, but then I — I kissed you and I know it was just on your cheek," Adam couldn't stop the word vomit no matter how hard he tried, "but I thought maybe I had... I dunno, crossed a line or something, because you didn't mention it when we talked after, and I didn't want you to think —"

He was cut off by a pair of lips on his. Don placed a hand on either side of Adam's face, but the kiss only lasted a moment. He held his position when he pulled away in order to keep Adam's eyes on his instead of letting the shorter man's gaze fall back to his feet or to his work. "Relax. You didn't cross any lines. I just didn't know what to say, and I didn't know if it was too soon to invite you for coffee."

Coffee. At least _that_ was something Adam would be able to afford. "I — I drink coffee all the time." Don snickered and ran his thumb along Adam's jawline before he dropped his arms back to his side. "I mean... I'd love to get a cup of coffee with you sometime. Anytime. Yeah, that would — that would be really great."

"Alright, good," Don responded, pressing a quick kiss to Adam's cheek before he backed away. "I gotta get back to work, and you have evidence to look at for me, so I'm gonna go. I'll meet you for lunch tomorrow." Adam just nodded, focused enough on Don that he didn't notice Danny and Lindsay high-fiving in the background.

As far as whether or not this _thing_ with Don would work? Well, only time will tell.


End file.
